Saturday, October 13, 2012

Tragedy too close to home...

So as you all know from watching the local news as well as nationally, a recent tragedy here in Colorado has shaken up a lot of emotions in the parent and children community.  Sweet 10 yr old Jessica Ridgeway was abducted only a couple blocks from her home in Westminster, CO and found dead days later.  As a parent this scares the hell out of me on so many levels.  Some reasons alone are: My house is 3 miles from the scene of the crime, I am a mother to two daughters, and so on... I stayed up last night asking myself so many "what ifs" and woke up this morning asking my husband how do we begin talking about this with our 3 and a half year old daughter? Just like many of you are probably terrified and asking yourselves, "How do I speak to my children about 'Stranger Danger'?"

As many of you know we are a hub of resources for Denver area parents and we always seek for answers and I came across this blurb today from Feather Berkower, the author and conductor of the infamous 'Parenting Safe Children' seminars taught locally and now nationally. 

                To my Colorado community, The police have reported that the body found in Pattridge Park, in Aravada, CO, is that of Jessica Ridgeway. We are devastated and our hearts ache for Jessica, her family, and friends.
It is not known yet whether she was sexually abused or if the person who committed this heinous crime was known to her or her family. At this time, let us pull together as a community, and

be there for children. Children look to parents for reliable and accurate information, and by staying calm we can minimize fear and focus on accurate and positive messages about body safety.

Here are some suggestions for talking with children about tragic events and situations where body safety has been violated.
1. Take the lead from your child. Younger children may not even have heard anything, while older children may be actively talking about it with friends and in school.

2. Provide accurate and age-appropriate information. For instance, a younger child needs to know that most people in the world are safe, but sometimes there are people who do things that aren’t safe or who break body-safety rules. And because we don’t know if someone’s safe, it’s important to follow body-safety rules. Then remind children about one or two body-safety rules.

3. Remind children and teens the “safety in numbers” rule.

4. Remind children to always “ask first.”

5. Remind children and teens that if they ever feel unsafe, it’s okay to yell, “No,” and run away.

6. Remind children that they can come to you with any questions and that you will be there and will not be angry.

7. Filter what your child is exposed to. It’s ok to turn off the news.

8. Let children know that the world is not an awful place, but rather full of generosity and kindness as shown by how many people in the community have been volunteering their time, donating items, and so forth. Ask your child to think of other acts of kindness.

9. Pay attention to signs of stress (e.g., tears, wetting, wanting to hang on to you, nail biting), and consult your pediatrician as needed.

10. Take care of yourself, so you can be strong for your children.

Together we are partners in prevention.

I hope that if you read this you pass this along, as I have.  We need to keep our children safe.  So please, tonight begin talking to them about their safety, kiss your little ones soundly in bed and be thankful that you have had another day with them.

All my thoughts are with Jessica's parents and family...